So what exactly do you “do”…

Within the field(s) of work that my coaching offerings land in there is often some question of “what is it, exactly, that we do anyways?”

I have trained with the Institute of Somatic Sex Education (up to level 3), completed Intimacy Educator training with Caffyn Jesse, and supplemented that with many other shorter trainings, lots of reading and a whole bunch of experience being on and off the table doing exchange practice with colleagues in the field. All of this sits nicely on top of the previous training and career path as a Sex & Harm Reduction Community Educator, largely within the non-profit and AIDS Service organization sector since 2009; but also as a freelance trainer, curriculum designer and facilitator since 2017.

BUT WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS IN A SESSION?

Well, a big part of the inability to answer this question succinctly is that it can be a little bit different every time. Every client comes with unique experiences and needs and the ways that I show up to hold, meet and support their individual goals can have a huge range and include lots of different pieces.

SO… LIKE WHAT?

While trying to maintain the confidentiality and anonymity of specific clients and their specific needs, I can speak to 3 general categories of things that can/have shown up and what that can look like.

SCARS:

I have through my own personal experience and special interest learned a lot about scars and how they form and behave in the body. When a client has significant scarring that they would like to work on with me, I combine knowledge sharing, practical skills and touch practices that can help soften, integrate and remediate the impacted areas. This can happen in person and include hands-on touch; but it can also happen virtually over video chat in a way that supports the client with informed self-touch. Some scars that I have supported folks with include top surgery, c-section, hysterectomy, and abdominal re-section. If you have scars, even really old ones, that you would like to work with me on, send an email to softtouchbodies@gmail.com to set up a consult call.

GENDER:

Also fed by my personal lived experience as well as my formal training, I have found that one of the areas clients seek my support with is gender. Which is a huge category, which can include discernment processes around accessing medical transition steps like hormones and surgery but is not in anyway limited to that. Please note, I am not a prescriber or approved referrer for accessing medical transition, but can be part of the process of deciding if pursuing that is for you.

Sometimes supporting someone with their gender is a conversation with words, but other times it is more embodied and playful, exploring shapes, postures, touch, and textures. Sometimes it involves guided meditations or using creative expression to explore deeper layers of the subconscious or imaginal realms. Whether you are at the very beginning of a process of asking questions and exploring options, or you have made your way through big choices and are wanting to catch up on some integration, I have tools to help. Gender change is so much more than just bodies and how they may look from the outside- the explorations that I do with clients around gender can really run the gamut. If you are curious about how working with me could support your relationship with your gender(s), send an email to softtouchbodies@gmail.com to set up a consult call.

DESIRE, BOUNDARIES, SELF SOVEREIGNTY

When I got to writing this part, I actually had to close my computer for the day, and go put my kayak in the gorge for the first time of the year. This type of thing happens sometimes when a part of your job is helping people tune into their desires, feel worth pursuing them and that they deserve to have the things that they want. It becomes harder to “keep calm and carry on”, enduring the things that aren’t really working without a nagging sense that we could make some adjustments towards pleasure. Sometimes in our lives we have limited space or agency to walk away from something and towards something better- but I see that as all the more reason to lean into pleasure and agency when we can. When we practice the skills related to self sovereignty, even within the context of the specifically curated containers we build in a coaching session, applying them in other parts of our lives gets easier. Sometimes in session that involves exploring tools like the wheel of consent, or role playing practices to support the development of choice and voice, and sometimes its more hands on, asking for the type of closeness or touch that you may have been curious about but might be scared to ask for in other contexts. For the most part, our cultural conditioning (especially if we experience or were socialized to expect misogyny) operates in ways that are completely counter to developing and practicing these skills. If we have been trained to put other people first, surrendering or deferring our agency to others or the systems we live under is a survival strategy. Learning to honour and forgive ourselves while also practicing little ways that we can (re)claim our own power, pleasure and agency are common themes that come up in sessions. If you are interested in working with me in your journey of (re)claiming your personal agency, send an email to softtouchbodies@gmail.com to set up a consult call.

There is really so much more than this, but I hope it can offer you some starting points to imagine into what working with me could look like. I currently have space for as many as 3 new one-on-one or couples per week.

Will that include you?

To read more about some of the other things that fall within my scope and to read testimonials from other folks who have worked with me, check out https://www.koridoty.com/in-person-learning/personal-coaching/